


don't let my sorrow turn to hate

by gaysanada



Series: Orville Peck Inspired Fics [2]
Category: All Elite Wrestling
Genre: Depression, Gen, Loneliness, No Dialogue, someone should check on our cowboy im worried about him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26488963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaysanada/pseuds/gaysanada
Summary: "Hangman" Adam Page bouts with depression and loneliness. But hey, what else is new?titled from turn to hate by orville peck
Series: Orville Peck Inspired Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913326
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	don't let my sorrow turn to hate

**Author's Note:**

> kinda think of this as being set around the time he really joined the elite back when he was mostly just ROH and stuff. or it can be w/ aew! up to you!
> 
> if you like it please leave a comment, i love reading them

Adam drove through a nameless town in Oklahoma, seemingly limitless rye fields on either side of him as the radio played faint country music. He was eager to get to the next town, but more eager to finish this round of shows and get back home.

As fun as it was to travel the world with his friends, meeting new people, and experiencing all kinds of new things, it was also fun to be able to be home for more than just a day and a half at a time. To sleep in his own bed and live in his own house for a bit.

His head felt a bit empty, lost completely in the neverending country road, framed perfectly by the boundless expanses of golden crop fields in the early summer sun. What thoughts he did have drifted back and forth from friends, to family, to lovers.

He felt _warm_ , filled with a peaceful joy that spread from his heart to his fingertips. He could feel the heat push through every part of him, filling his very soul with such a content daze that he couldn’t help but smile to himself. It was like sweet iced tea on a hot summer day, bare feet on soft green grass, arms wrapped around him, and holding him close as he basked in the beauty of the world.

Another car drove past him, going the other way, and pulled his mind from its haze. He tried to focus his mind on the road again, but found it difficult to not let the voice in his head take control.

He changed the radio station, finding a somewhat more upbeat song to try to keep up his happy mood. He suddenly regretted deciding to drive to the next town alone, wishing he’d taken up one of his friends on their offers to head out with him. He was alone and drifting, unable to truly acknowledge time or it’s meaning.

He pulled over when he heard his phone ding. A text message from one of those friends asking how he was doing, where he was on the road, stuff like that. He smiled a little when he saw it, happy to see that someone cared to check in on him during his lonesome travels. He responded with a quick description of where he was, making a ' _Children of the Corn_ ’ joke but changing it to ‘ _Children of the Rye_ ’. He sat for a moment after that, pondering where he was, not just in a physical location, but where he was in his life. 

He watched as the sky grew darker, and as his mood mirrored it. The radio seemed to only play softer, sadder songs, which sparked a more melancholy attitude from Adam. The sweet, soft, warm happiness that filled his body slowly left him, being replaced by a darker, harsher emotion. His visions of iced tea and green grass were overshadowed by half-empty beer bottles and patches of thorny weeds overgrowing a once gorgeous lawn. The arms that were wrapped around him were replaced by a feeling of emptiness, like he’d just lost a soulmate. He drove on, trying to push the negative thoughts from his mind.

The stars sparkled above him, clear as ever with no city light to drown them out. It reminded him how small he was in comparison to the rest of the world. There were so many other people, so many other lives out there. He felt little and a bit insignificant, out amongst the rye fields and the stars. Everything out in the country was so much bigger than him, and bigger than his life. He felt the darkness that had taken his sweet, warm happiness shift into something else. Maybe it was _sorrow_? It was a feeling that had made a home in his heart a long time ago and occasionally came up to rear its ugly head and ruin his day.

Eventually, the rye fields sparsed out into a more town-like community. Scattered houses grew closer together, and little gas stations and shops popped up along the roads. He saw a sign for a small motel and pulled in, deciding some sleep might do his mind good.

After he checked in, he sat on the bed and sighed. He checked his phone again, though he had no notifications. The darkness inside of him grew to further match the darkness of the night, leaving him cold and lonely. He longed now for someone to talk to and connect with, but he knew most of his friends were checking into hotels of their own for the night, and would likely be heading to sleep as soon as possible to get an early start on their travel days. He knew it would be smart to do the same.

The bed was too firm, and the blanket was scratchy. It felt like an old wool blanket at his grandmother's house. The kind that was more decorative than anything, heavy and unable to provide any _real warmth_. The pillows had a faint smell of dust to them, and the motel sign had a light that shone perfectly through the window and into his eyes. Nothing was right in his soul, and nothing was right in his world.

He wasn’t sure what time it was when he fell asleep, but he woke up to birds screaming just outside his window, and the sound of his phone alarm going off. He considered a shower, but ultimately decided it didn’t matter, and got back on the road.

The town began to thin out back into rye fields. As the morning sun rose, the feeling of bitter despair in his soul warmed back into that iced tea happiness. He knew the darkness would return once the sun went down, but he pushed it to the back of his mind as he drove on.

His head felt incredibly busy, yet he found his thoughts slowly getting lost in the wide-open fields and the long straight road. Occasionally another car would pass going the opposite direction, daring to pull him into reality for just a moment or two. What thoughts he allowed himself to have focused on friends, or family, or lovers.


End file.
